oublier que l'amour ♥

Faith.

2012-02-05T22:25:00.001+08:00

Hi ..

I'm up with a new post cos I'm only sleeping after 12 as I want to be the first few to wish Josephine a happy birthday (:

She used to listen to me a lot when I'm upset and she keeps secrets. Shes seriously a awesome friend and senior. (:

So ... Yeah ..

Idk what to say also .. Crying makes me tired .. And now I'm like hungry.

Blame me ;
For being too sensitive. For being not good enough. For hurting for crying ..
Just blame everything on me. Perhaps I'll feel better.

I've really nothing much to say. What needs to be said had alr been explained.

I just seriously am messed up. Im just useless crap.

Stupidity.

2012-02-05T17:53:00.001+08:00

Hi.

Idk what to say. This fucked up feeling is just hard to explain ...

It sucks .. Really.

I wish I could just fall asleep and not wake up to this pathetic reality. It sucks to know that you ain't important to anyone. It sucks to know that ever single thing some people say could hurt you so much , even typing this short paragraph has such impact on you , it made you cry so badly.

It really just suck.... To be in this pathetic reality thing. To know that everything has a lie behind and that you ain't even worth anything.

Then you stupidly love the people who doesn't love you and the people who loves you had loved the person who never loved them.

No wander the world's ending.

I used to be afraid of the dark , of walking alone back to home. But now? I really wish somehow something bad will happen to me , so I won't be on this earth anymore.

Sucks to know that your tears , are just your feelings that no one else would ever understand.

It's hard to let go of someone whom meant so much to you. But in fact , you never meant a thing to them.

Their words could hurt you but your words just go in and out. It hurts to be the one always tolerating , and suffering in silence. Just because you don't want to seem weak , just because this society out here is just so cruel.

It's just so hard to be happy. To give 101% happiness in a smile. Cos you know you can't , you know you ain't happy. You know you ain't never good enough. All the words you had meant , are being thrown into the " recycle bin " of that person's mind.

Don't it sucks to know that they don't think of you as much as you do?
To know that you don't mean to them as much as they mean to you?

You know clearly that losing them = losing your everything. While to them losing you = losing nothing. Nothing's loss .
You fake a smile when you're with your friends , and then the minute they turn around , you know you'll turn that smile upside down.

You know in the day , you pretend to be happy , but in the darkness at night you really just hide yourself in a corner and Cry fr everything that you've done to yourself and no one ever knows.

Yeah im strong , I have friends but I've no one to confide in. I don't trust. I don't love. I don't hate. I'm nothing but just an empty nutshell that's filled with layers and layers of shell to cover up how I really feel.

Everything's buried inside and only I know.

Isnt it cool how I can build up so many walls? I could be the best actress in this world.

Remember , no one ever really listens , those who listens are just people who want to know , they're just nosy.

I know , this is turning into a long post of my walls built up. But who really cares? The people who read this is just nosy.

And one day if I ever vanish , don't. Don't ever come looking for me. Cos you'll never find me.

X

Lost

2012-02-04T11:07:00.001+08:00

Hi. Currently still sick , no voice. :/

Woke up at 8am. Then slept till now.

Sigh

They say when you think of something too much you'll dream of it???? I guess it's true. (': wake up, think. Before sleep also think. Sleep also think.

Of all people , you appeared in my dream. Seriously.

My stupid fault for being cold to you.

I woke up to see my doraemon lying on the floor. It must've rolled down while I was asleep. Sigh. Fuck it. I've never thought so much. Never reread messages so many times.

放手吧，你会好过一点

Headache. I want to sleep again.

Smile.

2012-02-03T22:33:00.001+08:00

Hi. The weather outside is just damn cold :/ my body keep hot cold hot cold. Sigh.

So much words that I can't explain. I need to sleep but I don't want to sleep. Mad.

对不起。

Hellokittyyyyyy

Goodbye.

2012-02-03T16:32:00.001+08:00

Hi (:

I'm back home. Bathed and everything. Later eating w ahma and my parents. Then off to meet jinjer.

Jiayi is leaving in 5 days. 8feb. Idk how to start w sending her message. So im gonna blog it. If you're gonna Be bored of my stupid long fucking boring message for her , exit this page. Thanks.

沈佳仪; jiayi.

Hi ahyi . How long has it been since I talked to you without quarrels and etc?
You're leaving in 5 days. And although I said I won't be there for you anymore ,but I really wish I still could. (':
Please , take care of yourself there. Zhilong they all can't take you to the doctor anymore if you're sick in Paris. Stop losing weight. You alr lost alot. Don't become bamboo! And , don't ever think that you aren't good just because of anyone , ever again.

Thank you for everything. Time & again.
I'll miss you fucking alot. Although we haven't talk in days and you're still happy w/o this sister. I miss how crazy you are when you're drunk. You say want me lesbo w me remember? Hehe.
Iloveyou forever & always as a sister.
Take care sweetheart.

I always end up tearing doing dedications.

Don't cry , because you know everything in stall and on this road is just every single thing god is planning and paving for you. Have faith.

#nowplaying ; 说好的幸福呢.

你冷了，倦了，我哭了。

L'amour

2012-01-31T23:12:00.001+08:00

HAI. I know I very long never blog okay. Blog also dead already. Walao no readers!

Let me just start with school. Which I really love school but hate the homework and teachers. Hahahahaahah.

Never do homework also stand , do also stand. Might as well don't do.
Hahahahahaha got one thing I cannt tahan , is everyday recess people eat until full I cannot one , I is laugh until full. All the nonsense hor all come from Janice , xiao si , Wendy , Constance. The MOST cannot tahan one is Constance k. Her face cannot maintain. The pattern more then badminton. Hhahhahh.

Alot funny funny nonsense one la k. Thats why I so much nonsense also. Hahahahahahah. Cb all no do homework then pon class one period. Constance excuses damn lot. Hahahahhaah.

Then.. Nothing much. The rest are sort of personal. Ended school at 315. Mom fetched me and huiqi home. Bathed then went out w jinjer and huiqi again. Well , sometimes I guess going out w sisters are better then friends. Heheehehe.

And I really cannot stand how people judge jinjer. Cb her face got acne then? Need the whole family one by one come say her? I was there when they say her okay. If it was me I cfm bueylun. I wonder how she tolerates.

Oh talking bout that , new year is almost over soon. I have $300 red packet money!!!! Now left $150+ only hahahahahahh idk what I spend on man fuck. I spend on clothes and what ah? Oh and two storybooks and? No seriously idk what I spend on. Jahahahahah fml.

Why money no drop from sky man.

Time to start saving money again!
Easy task. Hehehehehe. Oh and I remember already. Spend money on everyday use. Cb usually parents give $50 when I go out now they ask me use own money. Knn one.

Texting WEEJUN then he keep kcan me. Knn . Texted khoonseng and he dw reply. K can.

Seriously , if you don't like me having other friends then don't bother to like me or be my friend or anything. This goes to everyone. My name is Ashley , not someone's pet dog or dk what fuck.

I can tolerate , but to an extend.

Meeting jinjer on weekends more often now , as she works at parkway. Hehe.

Nothing else to blog about. Goodnights earthlings.

X

2012-01-30T01:43:00.001+08:00

私はあなたを愛して (':